Using Anger as a Teacher
“He who angers you, conquers you” – Elizabeth Kenny It is neither realistic nor human to expect that we won’t experience anger. Anger is an old and deeply rooted response to a perceived threat. What we do with our anger, however, distinguishes the blathering, rage-filled, idiot from the strong, confident individual. Learning from our anger teaches us to maintain healthy boundaries, develop self-respect, and respect of others, strengthens our relationships and helps us get our needs met. Anger always masks an underlying fear. Acknowledging the fear underneath our anger is the first step of taking control vs. losing control.
- Is someone being abusive or treating you disrespectfully?
- Are you scared that your fundamental needs won’t be met?
- Are you facing a loss that seems unbearable or terrifying?
- Is someone doing something in your life that is forcing you to make choices you don’t want to have to make?
- Are you feeling abandoned?
- Are you feeling controlled?